Confessions of a Murder Suspect (Confessions #1)

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James Patterson returns to the genre that made him famous with a thrilling teen detective series about the mysterious and magnificently wealthy Angel family… and the dark secrets they’re keeping from one another.

On the night Malcolm and Maud Angel are murdered, Tandy Angel knows just three things: She was the last person to see her parents alive. The police have no suspects besides Tandy and her three siblings. She can’t trust anyone — maybe not even herself.

Having grown up under Malcolm and Maud’s intense perfectionist demands, no child comes away undamaged. Tandy decides that she will have to clear the family name, but digging deeper into her powerful parents’ affairs is a dangerous — and revealing — game. Who knows what the Angels are truly capable of?


 

Rating: 2/5

I seem to be in the habit of expecting great things from pretty crappy books. It was the same for ‘Crescendo’ by Becca Fitzpatrick, for ‘Fallen’ by Lauren Kate, and for ‘The Forever Song’ by Julie Kagawa (though the last one wasn’t my fault because the first two books in that series were actually good). How can James Patterson, such a famous and widely loved author (the ‘widely loved’ part is an assumption, but I’m pretty sure he’s well-known in the book lovers community because of his ‘Maximum Ride’ series), write such a subpar book? By the end of the first 100 pages, my feeling towards this book was really just ‘Meh.’, and it remained that way for the rest of the book. How did it turn out this way.

bored face

The biggest problem I had with the book was its constant “telling instead of showing” type of writing style. The readers ain’t dumb, we KNOW that something like “quaking in my boots” means that you’re scared! You don’t have to explicitly say “I’m scared” for us to get your meaning.

The cartons were labeled in Chinese. And it might not surprise you at this point to learn that I can actually read Chinese.

You don’t have to tell us this explicitly goddammit, just read the damn thing. URGH. Furthermore, I know that it’s supposed to be written in a confessional style, but the language and the sentence structure belong to an average 13 year-old, not a super smart, what, 17 year old??? Maybe I just didn’t click with the writing, I don’t know, but it annoyed me to no end.

Another problem I had with it was that it was so… boring. I had already figured out that their parents had genetically altered them, and how their parents had genetically altered them, long before they did. And when they did, it was like some mind-blowing crap for them, but it really wasn’t that exciting. Seriously. Also, the investigation of the parents’ deaths was just… lame. Man, I love murder mysteries. They always ALWAYS draw me in. I love the investigation and the piecing together of clues. But this investigation felt like it was just… haphazardly put together. Gods, I also felt like a lot of it was by luck, which is honestly just ridiculous. A murder mystery shouldn’t be like that. DAMMIT I WANTED TO LOVE IT SO BAD. (And let’s not even mention the ending)

urgh

In conclusion, you shouldn’t read this book. It was boring and really not worth your time. I’ll still read the second book cause I’m a big believer in second chances, and HOPEFULLY *fingers crossed* it’ll be much better than the first. Please be better.

P.S. I’m still giving it a 2 star rating because it’s definitely not one of the worst books I’ve read. I didn’t want to throw it against the wall, so at least there’s that.

So, you might be wondering why I wasn’t bawling, screeching, or passing out from shock and horror. Or why I wasn’t running to the bathroom to vomit or curling up in the fetal position, hugging my knees and sobbing. Or doing any of the things that a teenage girl who’s just seen her murdered parents’ bodies ought to do.

The answer is complicated, but here’s the simplest way to say it: I’m not a whole lot like most girls. At least, not from what I can tell. For me, having a meltdown was seriously out of the question.

(urgh)

The Impossible Knife of Memory

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the impossible knife

For the past five years, Hayley Kincain and her father, Andy, have been on the road, never staying long in one place as he struggles to escape the demons that have tortured him since his return from Iraq. Now they are back in the town where he grew up so Hayley can attend school. Perhaps, for the first time, Hayley can have a normal life, put aside her own painful memories, even have a relationship with Finn, the hot guy who obviously likes her but is hiding secrets of his own.

Will being back home help Andy’s PTSD, or will his terrible memories drag him to the edge of hell, and drugs push him over? The Impossible Knife of Memory is Laurie Halse Anderson at her finest: compelling, surprising, and impossible to put down.


 

Rating: 2/5 (Max 2.5)

I went into the book, fully prepared to be enraptured and completely heartbroken. Unfortunately… I was not. (It was actually surprisingly put-down-able) This will not be the first (or the last) time that I’ve been really let down by a book that I’ve been DYING to read. In fact, I was reading a book halfway when I decided to hop over to this book because the other book was a bit too boring for the stunning reviews that it got.

poker-face-png-24 Oh wells. At least this book is over.

Let’s just break the characters down a little. We’ll start with Hayley.

She’s not one of my most hated book MCs, but I still disliked her a lot. I wanted to sympathise with her so badly. A father with PTSD that she has to constantly take care of, a mother who died when she was a child, a ‘stepmom’ who left her when things were bad – no one should ever have to grow up in these conditions. So I would understand if she had some bitterness in her. However, she took the “I hate everything and everyone” attitude a tad too far. She was mean and cruel to people who were nice to her (especially Finn), and that is just unacceptable. Again, I would understand a certain degree of wariness towards others, but she pushed that too far too. She was basically the stereotype of the emo-goth-life-sucks-people-suck person, and I really, really, REALLY did not appreciate that at all. Just look at her attitude!

Dear gods above, Michael has hooked my father up with a skank piece of trash.

HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE’S A ‘SKANK PIECE OF TRASH’ IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHO SHE WAS.

No wonder the zombies were crazy. They thought they were supposed to practice breeding before they learned how to do their own laundry.

First thing, she calls everyone a zombie or a freak. Except for herself. Because she’s so much better than them. Second, she says that high schoolers practice ‘breeding’.

wtf

Are we wild animals? ‘Breeding’? Like, are you kidding me. So apparently, we’re all wild animals just randomly fucking each other and making babies. Okay. Gods I hate her.

Now, let’s move on to Finn. He’s the sweetest. I LOVE HIM. He made the book much more enjoyable. Unfortunately, I have nothing else to say about him, because he was kind of one-dimensional. He was nice, yeah, but like, not much else? I wanted to know how living in such a family, where you always always come in second, will impact someone’s personality, and I didn’t get that. Instead, I got a fluff ball which had the occasional thorn. And that’s pretty much it.

Finally, I’ll talk about Hayley’s dad. His depiction feels very clean. Like yeah, we see the big things, where he loses control and gets violent and stuff like that, but it tends to be the accumulation of the little things that break you. Without being able to see the little things, I really just cannot quite believe in the pain that her father supposedly feels. I might sound like a heartless bitch right now, but I was just recently diagnosed with PTSD. So I know exactly how it feels to break apart. This just, didn’t feel real to me.

Overall, the characters were meh (the 2 people I thought was slightly more real were Gracie and Trish), the romance was meh (I didn’t even talk about it cause it was a bit weird), the writing was okay, and I wish that there was a lot more emotional depth and exploration. There were some good moments, but the bad outshone the good. Wouldn’t recommend it.

“… And then she felt awful, because she really, really loves him, you know? She felt bad because she hurt him,” she sniffed, “and then she felt worse because it doesn’t matter how much she loves him, he’s not going to change.”

Dark Places

In my head, I have multiple friends. Well, not friends really, but my head is their home, so why not just call them friends?

This first friend is called Liz, short for Lizzy. She has frizzy hair. She gets anxious easily, because Worry is her last name. She likes to hop around and scream when she feels that way. When I don’t do what she wants, she shrieks even louder, until I give in. Lizzy is the most obnoxious one out of the three there. Always asking for my attention. Tsk.

The next friend is called Cat, short for Catherine. She’s always dressed in black. Such a goth, I know. Maybe because Sadness is her last name. She’s really quiet as she’s always tired. Cat is good friends with Liz, even though they’re complete opposites. She only raises her head when Liz is finally worn out or sleeping. She doesn’t ask for much, neither does she do much. She just sits there and waits for each day to slowly be over.

The last friend is called Dave, short for David. He just joined them recently, but he fits in really well. Probably because his last name is Flashbacks. He doesn’t show his face very often as he prefers to lurk in the background. Cat and Liz treat him as if he’s always been part of the family. If I ever see him, he’s always with either one of them. He also always bring pictures with him. Pictures that I don’t want to see, but he insists that I look at them anyway.

In my head, I have multiple friends. These friends of mine want to bring me to places that I don’t want to go to. Places that no one should have to go to. Sometimes I can resist, but sometimes I don’t have the strength to. And so I’ll be consumed by those dark places.

Forest of Ruin (Age of Legends #3

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In a world at war, who can you trust?

The empire rests on the edge of a knife, and sisters Ashyn and Moria are the handle and the blade. Desperate to outmaneuver the evil Alvar Kitsune, whose hold on the people grows stronger every day, Emperor Tatsu begs Moria to put aside past grievances and ally with Gavril—at least long enough to make an attempt on Alvar’s life. Meanwhile, reunited with her long-lost grandfather, Ashyn discovers that she is the key to a ritual that could reawaken an ancient dragon and turn the tide of the coming battle in their favor.

But with lies and betrayal lurking around every corner, Ashyn and Moria will have to decide once and for all where their allegiances are. And it may not be where their hearts would lead them…

In this breathtaking final book in her epic trilogy the Age of Legends, #1 New York Times bestselling author Kelley Armstrong blends fantasy, action, and romance to give readers the unforgettable ending they’ve been waiting for.


 

Rating: 4/5

This series ended much better than I had expected it to. How did that happen.

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It was actually pleasant to read. I was sort of surprised.

The book starts where the previous book ends (in the woods). It goes on exactly as the synopsis describes, with occasional interesting events happening. Ashyn and Moria ended up saving the kingdom and blah blah blah. A few tears (or maybe a fountain) were shed, but it wasn’t anything that was too unpredictable. There are far more important things in the story. For instance, they got A BABY DRAGON INSTEAD OF AN ADULT DRAGON.

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ISN’T THAT JUST SO DARN CUTE. The dragon imprinted on Tyrus, so Tyrus became its mommy HAHA.

Moria was finally tamed, and Ashyn finally put on her big girl panties :OOOOOOO Moria wasn’t as reckless as she was in the previous 2 books, which was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING because she used to get herself into really dangerous and stupid situations. She did her part and didn’t go on random rage rampages anymore. It was honestly so unexpected that I think I’m more impressed than I’m supposed to be. Ashyn also finally grew a pair, holy mother. I usually viewed her as the slightly more annoying one because she always needed to be saved by someone. This time, however, she needed much less saving. She also FOUGHT. SHE. FOUGHT. HOLY. CRAP. ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR ASHYN PLEASE.

a round of applause

I think that me being so stunned by Moria’s control and Ashyn’s sudden strong personality says A LOT about how annoying they were in the previous 2 books ==

Many people had problems with the love triangle between Moria, Tyrus and Gavril as they felt like Gavril didn’t get the ending that he deserved i.e. they felt that Gavril should have ended up with Moria. I felt that the ending to their romance couldn’t have been done better. Moria seemed to have chosen Tyrus, but I still felt the tension between her and Gavril. The love triangle wasn’t exceptionally clearly resolved, but I think that that was the best way. Moria can’t just dump Tyrus for Gavril! Tyrus is such a sweetheart. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if he were hurt. But at the same time, I feel like she also has some unresolved feelings for Gavril. So the ambiguity in the ending was perfect.

In conclusion, this book is definitely the best of the series. Would recommend it, but that would mean that you’ll have to read the 1st 2 books so… Meh.

Ashyn had no desire to entertain court ladies. And certainly no desire to suffer through a late-night visit with those who secretly hoped someone more interesting would stop by. So she ignored the knock. But when it came again, Tova moved to paw at her feet, whining and looking at her questioningly.

“Yes, it is my duty to answer,” she said. “But I have decided there is more to life than obedience. I avoided death at the hands of a mad dragon-cult leader. I will not perish of dishonor if I fail to answer a door.”

Struggles of being alive

There are certain nights where I struggle with my sanity.

This happens to be one of those nights. Again.

I should be used to them, but I’m not.

I don’t think that I ever will be.

How do you get used to this feeling

Of wanting to rip your heart out

And wanting to shred it into a million pieces

Just so that you’ll stop feeling.

Stop feeling this horrible ache.

Stop feeling this paralysing sadness.

Stop feeling this mind-numbing, bone-crushing loneliness.

How do you live, when the world isn’t fit to live in?

When the world is a horrible, cruel place

That crushes everyone that’s different

That crushes everyone that’s good

That crushes everyone that hopes.

I don’t want to live in this world. Haven’t wanted to in a while.

Was going to say goodbye 3 years ago, but I decided to stay a while longer.

And I’m still not sure if I chose right.

But now that this is out, I feel better.

Just wanted to say that it is a struggle to be alive right now.

List of amazing Kpop songs

SM ENTERTAINMENT (You will have to resist laughing at their English but their songs are catchy)

TVXQ: Used to have 5 people, but 3 people sued the company and left. But their songs are still good. Fandom called Cassiopeia. Insanely good as a group of 5. Bias is Changmin.

  1. Mirotic
  2. Keep Your Head Down
  3. Catch Me
  4. Something

Super Junior: Used to have 13 people, but 1 sued and left and another just left. My first love. I like their odd numbered albums better than their even ones. Bias is Ryeowook.

  1. No Other
  2. Sorry Sorry
  3. It’s You
  4. Mamacita
  5. This is Love
  6. From U
  7. Mr. Simple
  8. Superman

SHINee: No one left YAY. Insanely good dancers, arguably best dancers in Kpop. Hilarious af. Cannot choose between Jongkook and Minho so no bias.

  1. Lucifer
  2. Ring Ding Dong
  3. Sherlock
  4. Married to the Music
  5. View
  6. Everybody
  7. Replay
  8. 1 of 1
  9. Don’t Let Me Go

SNSD: AKA Girls’ Generation. Kicked my bias Jessica out, so 8 now instead of 9. Known as the ideal girlfriend type for Korean men. Have a sub-group called TTS.

  1. Genie
  2. Gee
  3. Lion Heart
  4. I Got A Boy
  5. Mr. Mr.
  6. Mr. Taxi
  7. Paparazzi
  8. All My Love is for You

EXO: Most famous group in the company right now. Used to have 12, but 3 sued and left. Known for awesome choreography. Bias is Baekhyun.

  1. Monster
  2. Growl
  3. What Is Love
  4. Call Me Baby
  5. Overdose

F(x): Used to have 5, but 1 left. Gets much less promotion compared to SNSD, which is a shame. One of the members is the sister of Jessica from SNSD. Pretty different from SNSD and Red Velvet (another girl group from SM).

  1. Nu Abo
  2. LA chA TA
  3. Hot Summer
  4. Electric Shock
  5. Danger
  6. Rum Pum Pum Pum

Red Velvet: No one has left yet because they’re new. Don’t listen to them much. Very cute most of the time.

  1. Russian Roulette
  2. Dumb Dumb
  3. Ice Cream Cake
  4. Rookie

 

YG ENTERTAINMENT (Very hiphop and weird, but the artists under this company are exceedingly talented)

Big Bang: Favourite group for the past 4 years. Hilarious af. All have their own solo careers. Known for bombastic music, crazy MVs and weird fashion sense. Bias is GD.

  1. Fantastic Baby
  2. Sober
  3. Bang Bang Bang
  4. Haru Haru
  5. Fxxk It
  6. Blue
  7. Let’s Not Fall in Love

2NE1: Most badass female group ever. Very different from the ones that debuted in the 2000s. Just disbanded last year. Cannot choose between Dara and CL so no bias.

  1. Fire
  2. I Am The Best
  3. Gotta Be You
  4. Go Away
  5. Come Back Home
  6. Can’t Nobody

iKon: Relatively new. Not as bombastic as Big Bang, but still pretty out there sometimes. Bias is BI.

  1. Dumb & Dumber
  2. My Type
  3. What’s Wrong?
  4. Airplane
  5. Apology
  6. Rhythm Ta

Blackpink: Debuted in 2016. All gorgeous and beautiful. More dance-y than the rest. Only have 4 songs. Cannot choose bias because they are all stunning.

  1. Boombayah
  2. Whistle
  3. Playing with Fire
  4. Stay

Akdong Musician: AKA AKMU. Indie vibes. Brother sister pair. Sister has angelic voice while brother writes music, produces music and raps.

  1. Re-bye
  2. How People Move
  3. 200%
  4. Give Love
  5. Melted

Winner: Relatively new. Used to have 5 but 1 left/was kicked out. More ballad style. No bias as don’t know them well enough.

  1. Empty
  2. Sentimental

Epik High: Really old rap group. Don’t really know them either.

  1. Born Hater

PSY: Most famous for Gangnam Style. Been in the industry for over a decade. Known for really weird MVs.

  1. Daddy
  2. Gentleman
  3. Napal Baji

 

JYP ENTERTAINMENT (Decent English, all the artists very pretty/handsome)

2PM: Used to have 7, but 1 left. Known as the Beast idols as they’re all ripped. Exceedingly good looking bunch. Hilarious af too. Cannot choose favourite so no bias.

  1. A.D.T.O.Y.
  2. Go Crazy
  3. My House
  4. Heartbeat
  5. I’ll Be Back
  6. Again & Again

Miss A: Used to have 4, but 1 left. Very focused on 1 particular person in the group. Don’t know them well enough to choose bias.

  1. Goodbye Baby
  2. Hush
  3. I Don’t Need A Man
  4. Only You
  5. Bad Girl, Good Girl
  6. Breathe

Got7: Relatively new. Talented, but haven’t found their sound. Cannot choose bias as they’re all too cute.

  1. If You Do
  2. Stop stop it
  3. Fly
  4. Just Right
  5. Hard Carry

Twice: Relatively new. Don’t really listen to them and don’t really like them. Heard that they’re not very good live.

  1. TT
  2. Like Ooh-Ahh
  3. Knock Knock
  4. Cheer Up

 

OTHER COMPANIES

4Minute: Under Cube Entertainment. Disbanded last year. Most famous member is Hyuna. No bias.

  1. Whatcha Doin’ Today
  2. Crazy
  3. Hate

BTS: Under Big Hit Entertainment. Very famous in the world right now. A lot of the people in the fandom are exceptionally annoying because they keep leaving comments everywhere. Really don’t want to be associated with them but I like BTS. Very talented, will probably last long. Very good dancers, but I still like Shinee. Bias is J-Hope.

  1. Blood, Sweat and Tears
  2. Spring Day
  3. Danger
  4. Run
  5. I Need You

Brown Eyed Girls: Under Mystic Entertainment. Love how they take charge of their sexuality.

  1. Abracadabra
  2. Sixth Sense
  3. Cleansing Cream
  4. Paradise Lost (solo)
  5. Fxxk U (solo)

Mamamoo: Under Rainbow Bridge World. Amazing vocals. All super cute and hilarious. Bias is Wheein.

  1. Um Oh Ah Yeah
  2. You’re The Best
  3. Piano Man
  4. Mr. Ambiguous
  5. Decalcomanie

Gfriend: Under Source Music. Very good dancers. Don’t know them well enough to have a bias.

  1. Rough
  2. Me Gusta Tu
  3. Navillera

 

From way cool to way sexualised

Hi guys! I don’t think that I’ve said this before, but I’m an ardent Kpopper. For those of you who don’t know what it means, it basically means that I listen to Korean Pop music. A lot. I’ve been listening to it for nearly 7 years now, so I’ve seen the insane rise of Kpop in the world. But what is a 2nd Gen Kpopper, you may ask. Well, the 2nd generation of Kpop is basically the time period from the early 2000s to about 2012 (???), and I got into Kpop in May 2010, so that basically makes me a 2nd Gen Kpopper.

Just to give y’all some background

I support many, MANY groups, so there is not just ONE particular fandom that I identify with. However, if I really had to choose, I’m a HOTTEST, a VIP & an ELF (these are all fandom names). I also am a SHAWOL, a BLACKJACK, an ARMY, a CASSIOPEIA and a BLINK. I also enjoy listening to songs from IKON, Miss A, Mamamoo and AKMU. And of course, I know many, many songs from many other groups (I used to be a SONE too).

As you can see, my knowledge of Kpop songs is relatively vast. And with the song, comes the MV. So that means that I watch a lot of Kpop MVs too.

(end of background info)

I got into Kpop mainly because it sounded different from English music. It helped that the guys were really good looking (they still are). In 2010, I think that the music and MVs in English pop were still rather tame, so I was still rather engaged with it. My time was probably split like 60% Kpop and 40% English music, which is still a relatively even ratio. However, as the years wore on, English pop started to become really, REALLY sexualised, so I slowly stopped engaging with it, and spent more of my time in the Kpop world instead. I didn’t like how uncomfortable the English pop songs and videos made me feel, which is a huge part of why I kind of stopped listening to it. I was really happy in the Kpop world for the first 3-4 years (2010-2013/2014) because there was so little sexual innuendo in mainstream Kpop (at least from what I know and listen to). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not conservative at all. I’m just uncomfortable when women are seen as tits and an ass. The music was also really, REALLY GOOD. Each group had their own sound and none of them were generic!!! They were all special in their own ways, and that, too, appealed to me very strongly. Good music with individuality and minimal sexual innuendo??? COUNT ME IN BRUH.

However, after those few years, influence from the West started to seep into Korean music. As Western music got even more sexual, so did Korean music. While Koreans are definitely more conservative than the West, that doesn’t mean that they can’t incorporate sexual innuendo and sexual objectification into their music and their music videos. Certain girl groups that debuted around the end of the second generation of Kpop (i.e. 2011-2013) incorporate certain dance moves or have certain scenes in their MVs that make me really feel like they are being treated as tits and an ass. For example, ‘Up & Down’ by EXID, ‘Like A Cat’ & ‘Miniskirt’ by AOA and ‘Something’ by Girl’s Day. These are all newer groups which I feel are going the more ‘sexual’ road. And by that I mean the ‘sexually objectified’ road.

But it is not just the newer groups that are going down that road. Some of the older groups are on that same path too. A good example of that would be SISTAR. One can argue that they were the ones who started the trend in the first place, and I am inclined to agree. One of their most famous songs, ‘Alone’, came out in 2012 and it is pretty sexually objectifying. Even their debut song ‘Push Push’ in 2010 had slightly sexually objectifying  dance moves. Y’all can just search for SISTAR if y’all are interested to see their dances. They are all pretty objectifying.

Another very, very good example would be Hyuna from 4Minute. She debuted in 2009 with 4 other members, but got a solo career in 2011 with the song ‘Bubble Pop’. Safe to say that is minimal bubble popping and maximum booty popping. Her songs have gotten more and more sexual over time, and the MVs make me more and more uncomfortable. She’s a pretty good dancer, but her company is limiting her to twerking and body gyrations. WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS. Furthermore, her songs keep sending mixed messages. Look at these two photos:

They’re from the same MV! So she’s portraying a cute innocent girl and a sexualised goddess in the same space??? What??? Let me just say that this is really unrealistic in real life and also really unhealthy. I shan’t go into it because then this post will be 1.5x longer than it is going to be.

poker-face-png-24

Kpop has come a long way from 2010 to now. I’m really glad that it has gotten really popular internationally, but at the same time, I’m sad that this new generation of Kpop is becoming increasingly sexualised. I will still listen to it, but I will stay away from all the sexually objectifying MVs. Hopefully, people become more aware that this is happening, and will try to prevent further objectification of women. I’d hate to have to stop listening to all the girl groups.

Anyway, to those of you who are interested, I’ll provide a list of songs which I think you should listen to in my next post under the same category! This post has finally ended! 😀

Mistle Child (The Undertaken #2)

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In life, in death: family remains.

Silas Umber has finally come into his own as the Undertaker of Lichport when a mysterious invitation calls him beyond the marshes to Arvale, the ancestral manor of the Umbers. There, his extended family endures, waiting for a living Undertaker to return and preside over the Door Doom, an archaic rite that grants a terrible power to summon and bind the dead in judgment.

As Silas assumes the mantle of Janus, the Watcher at the Threshold, deep below the earth in the catacombs and sunken towers, grim spirits grow restless at his arrival—hungry for freedom and eager for vengeance against a family with a long history of harsh judgments. Now, Silas must right an ancient wrong and accept that even a house of ghosts can be haunted by its past—for in matters of family, we are who we were.


 

Rating: 4.5/5

This book was the sequel to “Death Watch”, and I must admit, I liked it infinitely more than its predecessor. Probably due to the fact that this book was a lot shorter (333 vs 536 holy crap). It felt like more action was packed in this book, and aside from that, I was really glad to know more about Silas’ family. I can’t imagine having such an extensive family network. I see about 50 relatives every Chinese New Year, and I can barely keep track of all of them, much less a family of a few hundred. Their dining hall must be of at least this size and length in order to accommodate so many family members:

rehost%2f2016%2f11%2f12%2f6efc6cdb-c13c-4af0-ad4d-d5fec7ae5fa0 (Yes, I’m well aware that that’s the Hogwarts hall)

The book sometimes gave me the creeps, with its really vivid descriptions and Gothic feel. It didn’t help that I also read parts of the book at night. Can you just imagine reading this in the middle of night when the house is completely silent and dark?

There were bones in the corner, partially covered in rags, rotten and threadbare, perhaps once a garment. Next to the bones lay the desiccated corpse of an infant.

This scene was also proceeded by screams AND SOME WEIRD FEELING THING WHICH DID NOT HELP THE WHOLE CREEPY VIBE AT ALL. As you can tell, this book did a great job of freaking me out, which made me love it even more.

The only problem I had with the book was with Silas. I couldn’t relate to him most of the time, and I didn’t like him the rest of the time. He was just so… Infuriating. He didn’t listen when the elders tried to warn him (specifically, Mrs. Bowe). He made a promise to Cabel Umber before he knew what it entailed. HE WENT TO GO REVIVE BEATRICE. USING SOME ANCIENT DARK SPELLS.

are you kidding me

DARK SPELLS ARE NOT TO BE MESSED WITH. THEY ARE FORBIDDEN FOR A GOOD REASON. THEY GIVE YOU YOUR HEART’S DESIRE, BUT THEY ALWAYS HAVE A PRICE. AND THE PRICE MIGHT BE TOO HEFTY TO PAY. If I can understand this basic logic, I don’t see how Silas can’t understand it. Yes, it might give him Beatrice, but it will take away something else precious that he has. He has no clue what he will have to sacrifice in return, but he still decides to do that crappy thing anyway.

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It’s never a good thing when you like everybody else except for the main character. In fact, it is extremely ill-advised for authors to write about someone who is just generally… An annoyance to read about.

In conclusion, the book is creepy but also good, the main character sucks, the supporting characters are lovely (especially Silas’ grandfather), the writing is LOVELY and y’all should read this book. I’ll most definitely be picking up the final book of the series.

The Dark Days Club (Lady Helen #1)

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London, April 1812. On the eve of eighteen-year-old Lady Helen Wrexhall’s presentation to the queen, one of her family’s housemaids disappears-and Helen is drawn into the shadows of Regency London. There, she meets Lord Carlston, one of the few who can stop the perpetrators: a cabal of demons infiltrating every level of society. Dare she ask for his help, when his reputation is almost as black as his lingering eyes? And will her intelligence and headstrong curiosity wind up leading them into a death trap?


 

Rating: 4/5

Hmm… It was a little bit underwhelming for me, probably because I had heard raving reviews of the book. The main problem that I had with the book was that it was a little bit too draggy. Upon seeing the words ‘a novel’ on the cover, I fully expected it to be a single book with lots of action scenes packed into its (nearly) 500 pages. [I forgot it was part of a series ok 😦 I’m really blur] I barely saw any action throughout the first half of the book and I thought that it was really strange. I was also slightly panicked, because I was wondering how the author could cram so many answers in the second half of the book. However, at nearly 70% into the book I realised that it was actually the first book of a series, so I became a bit less panicky, and started to enjoy the book a little bit more. In the end, I still found that the author didn’t resolve enough problems for my liking. For such a long book, it should have given us more answers.

A tiny problem I had with the book was that I didn’t really like Lady Helen. I can’t exactly articulate why I didn’t like her very much, but I just didn’t feel a connection with her. She was really a bit too… ‘meh’ for me.

poker-face-png-24 (As I said. Meh.)

Apart from those problems, I really, REALLY liked the book. I’m a huge fan of supernatural stuff (angels, demons, monsters etc. I LOVE ALL OF IT) and while the demons didn’t make a HUGE appearance in this book, I like how disgusting they look whenand how there are different types of demons. It’s not just a demon king and a bunch of demons who all look and act the same; it’s a demon king and different categories of demons who all behave differently and act like INDIVIDUALS. That doesn’t happen in very many books, I think. At least, from what I can recall, I don’t think that I’ve ever read a book where the demons behaved like individuals. (Did I mention that the demons look like HUMANS so you can’t tell them apart from ordinary humans? That’s really cool, guys.)

stars in eyes

Aside from that, the dynamics between the demons and the people who hunt them is very different from most other demon hunting stories (e.g. the Mortal Instruments, Vampire Academy [those aren’t demons but they ARE the monsters]). It’s not “KILL YOUUUUU DIE BITCH DIE”, but more like a careful negotiation of the situation. If the demons aren’t hurting anyone, the hunters tend to leave them be, and at most, give them a warning. That’s hardly a common sight in most books.

Finally, the friendship between all the ladies is ON POINT, especially the friendship between Lady Helen and her maid. They support each other wholeheartedly, and they’re always there for each other.

In conclusion, just read the book. It’s good. I’ll definitely be reading the next one.

To hope or not to hope

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Sorry I haven’t been posting, school has been a mess recently with all the tests and exams. I decided to post today, because well, I’m heartbroken. Again. It seems to be a sort of permanent state of mine.

I would describe myself as a dreamer. I daydream way too much, believe in things and people way too much, and hope way, way, WAY too much. That is probably why I’m so sad whenever reality hits me in the face.

Today, I was talking to one of my closest guy friends. He’s been there for me a lot, and sometimes, when I have problems, he’s the first one I’ll go to. I would trust him with my life, and I would like to think that he trusts me with his too. It’s the perfect friendship, except for one little problem: he also happens to be my first love. I fell for him crazily 6 years ago, and even though we had a big fight 5 years ago and didn’t talk for 2 years afterwards, we made up.

Unfortunately, it seems like I didn’t deal with all the feelings I had for him. I just shoved them into one corner, and pretended for years that they never existed. However, the more I came to open myself up to him, the more those feelings emerged. Of course, I never admitted it to myself, but just pretended again that those are just feelings of brotherhood.

What utter bulls***.

Recently, I came to admit to myself that maybe, just maybe, I was still a little bit in love with him. But it wasn’t until today, when I just casually mentioned that we were way too comfortable with each other, that I realised that I might really, ACTUALLY, still have feelings for him. Because his reply of “We have a history, and cause of that there’s no way we are getting together.” hurt me. It actually, really, hurt me and I was surprised that it did, because I didn’t realise that I had been hoping. Again.

Again and again, I hope. Again and again, I get disappointed.

I don’t understand why I keep hoping. What’s really the point. Most of the time, I just end up getting disappointed. I feel like such an idiot, but I just can’t stop hoping. It’s ridiculous, but I do it again and again, and keep dreaming that one day, the ending might somehow change. That I might somehow not end up sobbing my eyes out on the floor. That it might somehow end with me having a smile on my face.

To hope or not to hope, that’s the question.